


Forever (If We Make it That Far)

by brilliantbanshee



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [8]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Hurt Carlos, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Supportive TK, Worried TK, paul is a good friend, plus fluff, so is michelle, they're so in love it's gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23654011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee
Summary: When Carlos is asked to help with an undercover sting, he jumps at the chance. When it all goes wrong, he is almost certain he is going to die.But then he doesn’t. He wants to move on, but he’s stuck. Staring death in the eye did not leave him feeling as invincible as he would have hoped.Luckily, he has this boyfriend who is pretty wise (and alarmingly familiar with near-death experiences) and determined to help him through, no matter what.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, TK Strand & Paul Strickland
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1209081
Comments: 12
Kudos: 175
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand, Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Forever (If We Make it That Far)

**Author's Note:**

> Anon requested a near-death experience for Carlos with supportive TK helping him through it. This was great because I already had a Carlos story started, I just shifted the focus a bit. Then this happened.

Carlos was in deep shit. 

Another blow landed on his side and he winced at the fresh pain even as he dodged another swing. He saw the flash of a knife and jumped back, just in time to hear it slice the air as it slashed through the space where his neck had been only moments before. His heart raced, his body was practically vibrating with adrenaline. He swung at the offender in front of him, hitting him hard enough that he fell to the ground. Carlos was relishing his moment of victory when a sudden sharp, searing pain in his chest interrupted. He let out a sharp, pain-filled gasp as his legs went weak and he folded to his knees. He felt a new wave of agony as a knife was wrenched from his body and the man wielding it kicked him so he fell onto his side, head spinning and knife wound bleeding sluggishly. 

If he was being honest with himself, this is not how he had thought today would go. 

* * *

It had been Tuesday morning when his Sargent had called him over to tell him that the narcotics squad needed Spanish speaking officers to help with an undercover sting, and he had suggested Carlos because of his positive performance and because he had a “good head on his shoulders.” 

Carlos had taken the information with a polite and professional thank you, but privately, he had been flattered. It was nice to know that his boss thought highly of him, but it was also a glimpse of a possible future. If this went well, he would be much more likely to get whatever promotion it was that he decided he wanted when the time came. At the time, he thought that agreeing was the responsible decision; the one that was beneficial for his long term goals. Now, as he stared at men who knew he was a cop and wanted very badly to kill him, he was starting to think otherwise. 

He had known the risks going in, of course. But he had thought them remote and manageable. He thought that it would be fine, possibly boring even. 

What he hadn’t expected was being tied to a pipe while the dealers they had been trying to bust were making it very clear they had no intention of letting any of them walk out of here alive. 

He’s not sure how they figured it out. Maybe they were tipped off, maybe they were as great at being drug dealers as they thought they were. Maybe these dealers were smarter than they had expected them to be. All he knows for sure are the following facts: 

  1. They knew that Carlos and his two companions - another patrol officer and the detective who had been leading the case - were cops. 
  2. They were not happy about this fact. 
  3. They weren’t wearing wires, so their backup would have no way of knowing anything was wrong until they missed check-in. 
  4. Check-in wasn’t for another half hour.
  5. He had been stabbed, and there was a concerning amount of blood on the floor beside him.
  6. There was a good chance he wasn’t walking out of this one. 
  7. He hadn’t told TK how much he loved him. 



At the moment that last one maybe wasn’t the most important, but as he watched the scene play out around him, it felt pretty important in the grand scheme of things. 

Carlos tried to analyze the scene. Both of his companions were pretty beat up from the scuffle that had ensued when someone had shouted that they were cops. The other patrol officer was slumped against the nearby wall, the only movement his steady breathing. Detective Cruz looked back at him, eyes sharp and bright through the smear of blood on his face. So, they were at 2 against 6. Those were not exactly what Carlos would call ideal odds. He speaks lowly to Cruz, hoping that the men are as distracted as they appear to be, “any ideas?” 

Cruz glanced back over to where the dealers are arguing amongst themselves. “My phone was broken during that fight, so I can’t use it to call for backup. What about yours?”

“I think it’s in my pocket, but I can’t reach it” Carlos replied, raising his hands within their bindings to illustrate his point.

Cruz examines their layout, “I’m tied a little looser and lower, I might be able to grab it if you can get a little closer.”

Carlos nodded, “Okay, but then what?” 

“Then we’re going to need a distraction.”

“I’ll take care of that,” Carlos responded without a moment’s hesitation. 

Cruz looked at him sharply, “What are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Carlos said, “just get us out of here.” 

Cruz looked like he wanted to argue the point further, but there really was not another option and they both knew it.

“Fine, let’s do this.” Carlos nodded and shifted closer to Cruz, as subtly as he could. He held his breath as the other man fumbled for his pocket and pulled out Carlos’s phone. He shifts back to his original position and cranes his head to see Cruz holding the phone under his leg. As he taps the screen the lock screen lights up, showing a picture of Carlos and TK. It was taken a few weeks ago by Paul and the sight of it sends a stab of grief into Carlos’s heart. He knows what he’s about to do is dangerous. There are worse ways to go than in the line of duty; he has been prepared for that possibility since the day he started at the academy. He just hopes TK can find it in himself to forgive him for this. Carlos had never wanted to be another thing to add to his pain. He wishes that they had had more time. 

He pushes it all down and quietly gives Cruz his passcode. Then, he pulls himself to his feet and starts shouting. He’s not even sure what he says, he just knows he needs to get and keep their attention. It works like a charm. He’d like to chalk it up to his acting skills, but he’s fairly certain that it has more to do with residual anger they still have at being infiltrated by the police. Whatever the reason, they are focused on him. Completely. 

Blow after blow lands. He is powerless to stop it - all he can do is try his best to twist his body out of their reach and pray. He holds on for as long as he can, but his vision starts to darken. As the world fades to black around him he hopes that it was long enough. 

Awareness comes suddenly when gentle hands prod at the stab wound on his chest. He rockets back to consciousness, his eyes flying open and body arching in pain. A soothing familiar voice filters through the haze of pain and he latches on to it. Michelle. Michelle is here, which means it’s safe. Which means he’s not dead. 

She gives a soft chuckle, though it sounds hollow to his ears, so accustomed to her usual laughter, “No, you’re not dead and I’d very much like to keep it that way so I would really appreciate it if you would try to stop moving so much.”

Ah. Apparently that internal monologue hadn’t been so internal as he had thought. 

“What happened?” he managed to get out. 

“I’m not sure of the specifics, but I can tell you that you’ve taken quite a beating and that you’ve been stabbed.”

Carlos scoffed, “That I knew. What about the sting? How did backup get here? Did they get the guys?”

Michelle looked past him towards someone else and Carlos heard more footsteps before Detective Cruz knelt beside him, “We got them Reyes, thanks to you.” 

Carlos scoffed, “I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I didn’t do anything but be a punching bag, sir.”

Cruz chuckled, “I’d say that was plenty. Besides, it was thanks to you that I was able to make the call for backup in the first place. If I hadn’t been able to do that we’d likely both be dead by now.” Carlos could feel Michelle’s hands waver ever so slightly as she continued to work on packing his stab wound. Cruz continued, “So I feel like you deserve a fair amount of the credit, and I will make sure you get it in paperwork as well. Also, no more of this ‘sir’ crap. You saved my life, you can call me Edwardo.”

Michelle interrupted, “I hate to interrupt this conversation, but I really need to be getting him to the hospital Detective, he’s lost a lot of blood.” 

“Yes, of course. Oh, before you go, I had almost forgotten.” Cruz reached into his pocket and fished out Carlos’s phone, which he handed to him. “Thanks again for the loan, it really saved us. Also, someone named TK called, I didn’t answer it.”

Shit, TK. They were supposed to meet up after their shifts tonight. 

Michelle patted him on the shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll call him. After we get you to the hospital.” 

“Thanks Chica, what would I do without you?” 

“I think it’s better for both of us if we never have to find out.”

* * *

TK looked at his phone - still no new messages. He had tried calling Carlos earlier but had received no response. He knew logically that it didn’t mean anything. They each had situations on the job that would take them away from their phones. He didn’t expect Carlos to answer his in the middle of an arrest any more than Carlos expected to get an answer when TK was on a call. But something about this time had felt different. There was a feeling of dread he just couldn’t shake. 

He didn’t want to be that clingy boyfriend so he had waited, checking his phone every few minutes just in case he had possibly missed a call. But now that his shift was done and they were supposed to meet up tonight anyways, it would be perfectly normal to call now. 

“No word from Lover Boy yet?” Paul asked as he pulled his things out of the locker next to TK’s. 

Tk looked over at him, “How’d you…”

He was interrupted by a scoff from Paul, “Please, you think I didn’t notice you checking your phone every 3 minutes for the past few hours? Clearly you’re waiting to hear from someone, and everyone else you know is here. Process of elimination.”

“I know more people!”

“Yeah, you really don’t. Plus, no one else can really manage to make you look quite like that.”

“Like what?”

“For the health of our friendship, I am not going to answer that. You guys have a fight or something?”

TK shook his head, “No, I just called him earlier and didn’t get an answer. I’m sure it’s nothing, he’s probably just busy at work, but I figured he’d call when he gets a moment.”

Paul studied him, “But you don’t think everything is fine,” he said matter of factly. 

TK shrugged, “I have no reason to think otherwise, but I just can’t shake this feeling that something is wrong.” 

“I am never one to discount instinct. Try calling him again.” 

TK nodded, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves before he unlocked his phone. Before he even had a chance to open his contacts, it rang. He looked up at Paul quickly before answering, 

“Michelle?” he asked by way of greeting. 

“TK, hi.” 

“Can I help you with something?” he asked, baffled as to why she might be calling him. 

“No, I just needed to tell you something. Carlos was involved in an...incident at work today. We just passed him off to the ER.”

TK felt his breath catch and that vague feeling of dread morph and overtake him, “How bad is it?” he asked softly. 

“He was beaten up pretty badly and stabbed. He was conscious when we dropped him off, but he had lost a lot of blood. He’ll probably be fine, the doctors seemed optimistic. He’s going into surgery shortly to repair some tearing from the stab wound, but it shouldn’t be a major procedure.”

TK took a deep steadying breath. He was aware of Paul watching him with concerned eyes. “I’m heading over there now,” he told Michelle. 

“I already told them to expect you.” 

He hangs up the phone and finishes throwing his clothes into his bag. “What happened?” Paul asks, still standing beside him. 

“Carlos is hurt, I have to get to the hospital.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“Paul…”

“No buts dude. You’re in no shape to drive right now and there is no way I’m letting you sit at the hospital alone. Besides, Carlos is my friend too. So I’m coming, and I’m driving.” 

TK nodded his thanks, words weren’t coming very easily right now. He shoved the last of his things haphazardly into the bag and then they were gone. 

* * *

TK paced the waiting room at the hospital. He had probably been around the room at least 12 times, but he couldn’t sit still. He had tried, briefly, but Paul had informed him that the bouncing of his leg was more annoying than watching him pace. So pacing it was. 

He walked by Paul again and the other man looked up from his book, “I’m sure he’s fine,” he said again. 

“Then why is it taking so long?”

Paul shrugged, “Neither of us are doctors, so we’ll probably never know.”

“That’s not exactly helpful.”

“It’s all I’ve got, man. Look,” he tried again, “I know you’re worried, I am too. But imagining the worst-case scenario is not going to accomplish anything besides working yourself into a panic. Or possibly wearing a hole into the floor with all your pacing. So just try to relax. The doctors here are good, as I’m sure you recall.”

TK winced a little at that. He was nearly going crazy after just an hour of waiting, he didn’t even want to imagine what it had been like for his dad and the team when he had been shot. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” 

Paul smiled at him, “no need to apologize, just try to relax, okay?”

TK nodded and sat in the seat next to him again, making a conscious effort to not bounce his leg. Thankfully a doctor entered the waiting room a moment later and looked directly at him. “Mr. Strand?” he asked. 

“That’s me,” he said, jumping to his feet. 

The doctor nodded, “Michelle told us to expect you. He’s out of surgery and in recovery now. Everything went well and he should make a full recovery.” 

TK finally released the breath he had been holding since Michelle’s call. He could feel the tension leave his shoulders. “Can I see him?” he asked hopefully. 

The doctor nodded, “he’s getting settled into recovery right now, I’ll let his nurse know to come and get you when he’s set. 

“Thank you doctor, really.”

“My pleasure, take care now.”

The doctor walked away and TK turned to Paul. He knew he was grinning like an idiot. “He’s okay,” he repeated and Paul let out a relieved laugh and got up to pull him into a hug. 

“Of course he is,” he quipped, “our boy would never do something heroic and die before you could thoroughly reward him.”

TK pulled a face, “First of all, gross. Secondly, how do you know he did something heroic? Did you hear something I didn’t? We still have no idea what happened.”

Paul shook his head, “No, I just know him. If there was something heroic to be done, Officer Reyes did it.”

Their conversation was interrupted but a nurse walking over to grab TK. He looked over at Paul, “Are you…?”

Paul shook his head, “Nah man, I’m going to head out. It’s going to be much too sappy in there for my tastes. But let him know that I’m glad he’s okay, and call me if you need anything. I’ll update the others too.”

“Thanks, man, really, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t here.” 

“Well, you’ll never have to find out because we are all here for you both, every step of the way.”

TK pulled Paul into another tight hug, before leaving to follow the nurse. Paul just shook his head fondly and pulled out his phone, happy that he had good news to share with the rest of the crew. 

* * *

Carlos woke slowly, a haze hanging over his thoughts. He was disoriented, unsure of where he was. This wasn’t his bed; these weren’t his sheets. There was a strange, annoying sound surrounding him, and the weight of familiar hand in his. He blinked open his eyes, waiting for them to focus in the dim room. He shifted, trying to get a better look at his surroundings. He was in a hospital bed, and TK was sleeping in the chair beside the bed. Then it all came back to him. The sting, their covers being blown, the fear. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his heart rate. He was fine, he was in the hospital, it was all over. 

“Carlos?” His shifting must have awoken the other man, because he was staring at him, his green eyes wide in relief, “Carlos, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I got stabbed,” he said dryly, his voice hoarse. 

“Yeah, well you look like you went a few rounds with a heavyweight champ so I can’t imagine that the rest of your body feels too great either.” He squeezed his hand lightly and leaned forward, concern clearly etched into his features, “Seriously, how are you? You don’t need to hide anything from me.” 

“I’ll live.” Carlos had meant for it to come out like a light retort, but the way his voice broke towards the end betrayed him. 

TK furrowed his brows and leaned closer. “Carlos,” he muttered softly, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, “talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure. I mean, I’m okay now. We made it out, and I’m here with you. But while we were in there, I really thought I was going to die.” 

TK kept running a calming hand through his hair, but the other hand gripping his tightened. 

“Why don’t you start for the beginning,” he suggested softly, “because I’m not even sure what happened and I want to help you, but I’m not sure how. If you’re feeling up to it. If not we can just sit here, whatever is best for you. I’m here for you, no matter what.” 

They sat in silence for a while, each taking in the presence of the other. Carlos hadn’t even considered that TK wouldn’t know what had happened, but it occurred to him that he hadn’t even mentioned the sting beforehand. He appreciated that the other man was here for him anyways, so willing to do whatever was needed even without any of the context. But, as much as he didn’t want to talk about it, he figured his boyfriend deserved to know what a mess he was dealing with. 

He spoke softly, but his voice cut through the silence like a gunshot. 

“I was asked to help with an undercover drug sting by a detective in the narcotics division. They needed Spanish speaking officers for it, so I agreed to help. I thought it would be a good career move and a great experience. Something I could use later on.” TK nodded his understanding and Carlos continued. 

He told him about how they arrived and everything was going according to plan. No problems, completely smooth. Just a regular day. But then one of the dealers had left to answer a phone call. When he came back he had shouted about them being cops and all hell had broken loose. He gave the highlights: how he had been stabbed during the initial fight, being tied up waiting to be killed, he and Cruz had colluded to make a plan. He had been the distraction.

“And I guess it worked because the next time I was aware of anything Michelle was patching me up we were safe,” he finished. 

TK moved the hand that was running through his hair down to his face to cup his cheek. “You are so brave,” he said softly, “and I am so proud of you. But I am also so incredibly glad that you are safe. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.” 

Carlos leaned into his touch. His words warmed him, but they also brought up an anxiety he didn’t quite understand. His breath quickened and he could feel his heart rate increasing. TK’s worried voice cut through his panic, “Carlos? What’s wrong? Do I need to get a nurse?”

Carlos shook his head, closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe deeply. Slowly, he felt the panic recede. He opened his eyes to find TK gazing at him anxiously. 

“I’m fine, I just…” Carlos didn’t even know how to explain it. TK didn’t push him.

“Just relax Carlos, I’ve got you. You’re safe and I’m here for you, no matter what. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m sorry, I just...I don’t know why I feel like this. I’m okay, I survived, I should be okay.” 

“Hey,” TK said, moving closer to him, “you have nothing to be sorry for.” When Carlos opened his mouth to argue, TK cut him off, “No, anybody who went through what you just did would be feeling the same way. Near-death experiences aren’t meant to be normal, you’re allowed to not be okay.” 

“But…” 

TK shook his head, “No buts either. Remember that whole ‘questioning my entire life’ thing I did after I got shot?”

Carlos nodded, how could he ever forget any of that? 

TK continued, “I had a near-death experience and I basically turned it into a quarter-life crisis. I was questioning everything, wondering if every decision I had ever made was wrong. Did I ever tell you that I actually went to Zoe? I asked her to come over and talk because I was so _confused_. I emailed the woman my dad was seeing, who I had only met once as I was waking up from a coma, she came over, I offered her iced tea and nothing I said made any sense. So, it was all around just a surreal experience.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t known that particular detail. TK continued, clearly on a roll, “Before that when I ODed back in New York, I literally moved across the country with my dad to start an entirely new life. So believe me when I say that you are allowed to not be okay, you are allowed to feel confused. I’d rather you didn’t start questioning everything including our relationship, but if that’s what you need to do I am here for you, every single step of the way.” 

Carlos huffed a soft laugh. While his speech had been incredibly insightful, TK had missed what Carlos had thought was painfully clear, “Don’t worry, I am certainly not questioning our relationship. You’re the only person I want to be with, _that_ I still know for sure.” He sobered and TK frowned and leaned forward.

“Then what is it, Carlos?” 

“I thought I was going to die. I was certain of it. I couldn’t see any way out and I made my peace with it. The only regret I had was leaving you. You’ve been through so much, I didn’t want to be another thing to add to your pain.”

“No,” TK said firmly, “I never want you to think like that. Even if...even if that did happen, it wouldn’t be your fault. I would _never_ blame you. Yes, it would hurt me. But I would much rather love you with all I have while I have the chance than not just to risk getting hurt again. I love you Carlos, and any pain that comes from this is worth it.”

TK looked at him intensely, and Carlos ached with love for him. He could feel tears forming in his eyes, but he let them fall, reaching to place his other hand on their clasped ones. “There’s one more thing,” he said and TK nodded at him encouragingly. 

“The other thing I kept thinking was that I had never told you how much I loved you. I kept thinking that I would die without you ever knowing, and I hated it.”

TK smiled at him, “Well, now is as good a time as any,” he said coyly. 

Carlos huffed out a laugh, a real, genuine laugh, “Cheeky much, cariño?”

“You love it.”

“I do,” Carlos agreed, voice turning serious again, “and I love you. I love you so much Tyler, more than I have ever loved anyone. I really don’t even know how to put it into words, but, I realized I needed you to know, just in case.”

TK leaned down and gave him a soft, lingering kiss. “I think I know because I feel the same way,” he admitted, voice soft. 

He then leaned forward to pull Carlos into a gentle embrace. Carlos leaned into, breathing in the scent that was TK. It was warm and welcoming. It smelled like home; it smelled safe. He could feel himself relaxing, the sense of hypervigilance he had felt since this whole mess had started finally fading as he rested in TK’s arms. 

Sometimes Carlos wondered if they were tempting fate. They both had dangerous jobs, and while tomorrow is never a promise for anyone, they knew it more than most. But today; today was a good thing and Carlos intended to savor each and every one he got - especially if they ended with this man beside him. 

**Author's Note:**

> They're so in love it's gross. Also I realize most of the mechanics of the actual undercover part are bullshit, but we do what we need to do to create our hurt/comfort circumstances (so don’t @ me)
> 
> Let me know what you think about it in the comments, or come yell at me on tumblr. I appreciate discourse and prompts!
> 
> Stay safe and sane everyone ❤️


End file.
